I sit here writing down my hopes and I want you to hear them.
I cry, thinking when I lay down that I'm not the on you hold at night.
I want things between us, please make me whole, make me apart of this world.
Damn them who can't see my love for you is true.
I want you to whisper gently in my ear, like a soft warm sind, telling me that you love me.
Never have I felt like this before, and if it is everlasting, I would hope you feel the same.
Too long have I lived alone, with nothing.
Too many times have I been hurt.
But I'm willing to know the truth as long as it is from your heart.
Just let me know.
I don't like keeping this bottled in.
There are days that I just want to reach out and hold you closely forever.
To feel your body move with mine, to see how perfectly our hands fit together.
I feel I have lost everything when you're gond, and the sun will not shine for me until I do see you.
I don't know how to tell you all the things I wish to say.
That's never happend to me before.
I want you, all of you.
Everything.
Be who you want to be and I could love you no less.
My heart beats for you strongly.
These feelings cause a confusion, a maddened fever in my brain.
Should I smile because we're friends.
Or cry, because that's all we'll ever be.
I would honestly do anything for you, but will you ever know this?
The more we are apart the stronger these feelings grow, but when I'm near you...
they are son intense, I don't know how to keep myself contained.
You wonder why I can't talk to you, and it's because of just this.
I am afraid of rejection, and humiliation.
Afraid of hurt, I can endure no more pain.
I'm sure when I am ready you will see all these words I write down.
All the feelings I have hid from you, all the things that I am willing to be...
so long as you shall have me.
The times I have watched you, and the moments I wait until I get to see you.
You have a powerful hold on me, that you do not know about.
I think the only way I can get through this, is if you are truly honest with me.
tell me first how you feel.
Don't be afraid, I'm sure I can handle it.
I have had to deal with so many different things, have heard so many words,
and have been called so many things. Yet I still carry on.
But I must say, your words if they are hurtful, just may break me.
I care about you, and I'm there for you. You can talk to me.
Only your words matter to me, I wish so hard that you could hear this,
hear the words I write, know and understand these feelings.
Show your trueself to me and I can show you what I have held in my heart all these years.
At night I stay up thinking about you, imagining, and wishing that we were together.
Sometimes I feel that if this is a crush, will I be able to handle the real thing if it happenes?
I'm willing to let you be free, to do what you want to do,
because this feeling I have for you is everlasting, I have no doubts in this at all.
My heart leads me only to you, my mind is constantly wondering about you.
Without you I truly feel alone. I never want you to worry about me.
Because if you do then that must mean you care.
Everything I do reminds me of you, or something we talked about.
Everytime I turn around all there is, is you.
I just want you to see, that the feelings inside of me should bring you no regret.
They are for you.
Speaking of regret, the only thing I have to regret is never talking to you about this, this...
what I am writing now. And if you asked to read it I would probably be hesitant, I would not know how to act.
Would you be ready to read it, could you handle my honesty?
Or would you just read it and ask who it is about?
If you were to do that I don't know what I'd say.
Probably (my most common and dishonest answer) No one.
And then I'd shrug my shoulders.
The only thing I'm good at is keeping my feelings hidden from you.
I will not be found until I am ready to be found.
So will I hide forever? I am scared that it would be too late.
Maybe it is too late now. I do not know.
Maybe I've held on too long. Is it time to let go?
Or is there still time?
May I dwell in my deep well of emotions forever, or will I be set free?
Save me from myself.
...
Neutral
